I got my cat when I was five years old. He was a kitten and I remember playing with him and feeding him, brushing him, and falling asleep with him. There are countless pictures of me and my cat from 5 years old till now. And I love him lke any other part of my family. I watched a car hit him and could not stop crying when we took him into the vet and had to have a cast on his hind leg.

My dog Oreo I got in the th grade when my parents were going through a rough time in their marriage. She was there for me and was always happy to see me come through the door. We share a room, and she takes up most of my bed and she snores. But he makes me feel safe, she's very protective of me, not letting people get close to me when they come over. She is my protecter and I love her to death.

Teenaged Witchcraft

My words can cut
my breath can sooth.
And against my, skin you're so cold.
Against my rules, you're just another punk.

And when the walls seem to fall
and the paint begins to peel
I'll let myself fall onto the glass.
With my face pressed to your chest
your heartbeat is all I can hear.

We went to bed as thin as the cracks of the doors
And with misery laying close to my head
I woke up as lonely as the dead.

Six feet down,
six feet up.
I couldn't think of what to say the day we grew up.

With my eyes pressed to the mirror
I couldn't sleep with your image.
Against my lips
against my hands
your outline slipped out like the wind.

And fifteen years from now,
your footsteps will remain with your shoes.

These walls will breath,
these walls I curse,
spewing fire from their holes.
And they'll burn me in all their thirst.

I haven't heard of any rumors in a long time. But this weekend my friend Cece and I talked about the ridiculous rumors of Middles school. One was about a girl being pregnant. I from the start didn't believe it, however a few other kids did. Before the week was out the girl found out about the rumor. I don't know what she did about it, because I for one didn't hang out with that girl. She never liked me, and so I returned the favor.

I think rumors are apart of teen aged life. You learn to deal with them. I myself laugh at the ones I've heard people come up with about me.

Dirty bomb, going off in my mind.

I decided to use, "Webdings" as my font choice of the day. It seems like a fun word. So right now it's 10:30p.m. I am confident that by the time I finish this blog it will be later than this. I'm listening to "4 Leaf Clover" by Billy Boy on Poison, AMAZING song, I'm so glad I stumbled over them via myspace. I'm not much of a music hunter like Eness, but this band was way too good for me to ignore.

I'm not subscribed to Mr. Schrieber's blog, and since I know that you'll either skim or read this, I just want to say "HI!!!!"
Oop! Another nifty song, "It's in Your Blood" by Lydia. Check them out, they too are amazing. They have a girl in the band, and I usually can't stand female singers for some strange reason, except for The Veronicas, especially after a bad break up (which this journal will be about) but this girl, I totally forget her name, but she sounds nothing like Paramour. And because of that, I love them. Paramour is over rated, overplayed, and is not original at all. I used to write lyrics like the lead singer's all the time like the little thirteen year old emo girl that I was.

I digress...

I can remember the time I was hurt pretty bad. And the thing is...I couldn't explain myself, to my friends or my own self.

He misused my trust, hurt me, made half his friends hate him, and made me cry for a guy for the first time. Usually after a break up, I have one of my friends pick me up, and we go out and have girl time. Blasting awesome music, driving, and going back to who ever's house, watching movies and joking about how lame (insert name) was anyway. Usually, I just smirk,look them in the eyes when they ask if I'm okay and say something along the lines of "I wouldn't waste my tears on something so lame and immature as you." Okay, that was lame. Usually I can think of something better, but I'm tired and sick.

But this guy, I was left alone in my room, wondering how someone could be so heartless. I was only fifteen, and I don't know if I could call it love, that word is so weird to me. I have love for friends, but I don't know if I've ever been in love.

But all in all. This boy broke me so bad. When my friends asked what happened, I couldn't say. I didn't begin to cry, I just couldn't tell why he made me feel this way. I didn't know him for as long as I have other ex-boyfriends. We didn't go out for a long period of time at all. I was screaming in the inside; "WHAT THE HELL DID YOU DO TO ME!?!"

I felt as if the words "I told you so" were lurking everywhere, but I never once heard them. And if I did, I think I would have been hurt that much more.

I never got a chance to tell this guy, what he did to me. I never got a chance to tell him what scum I think he is. Never was able to tell him I hope he died horribly. That I hope North Korea nukes Texas (Keely). I hope he doesn't kick his smoking habit.

And you know what? Don't finish high school, be another rebellious bum! Be another wanna be punk rocker, you missed the 70s, shut up! That stupid leather jacket made you look like a retard! I was trying to help you. I payed for the dates we did go on. And that stupid, red piece of crap you call a car, the "Bambie killer" I hope a buck takes out your windshield. I hope you get stuck out in the wilderness, alone, cold and scared.

And when you do, that's when you can talk to me again. When you go through what you put me through, that's when I can look you in those cold green eyes and consider not beating the (insert non offensive word) out of you.

I loved, lost, hurt, cried, picked myself up, carried on, and with out the help of another guy. Well, I did have help from a few. But they're all in bands so I guess they don't count. I never got a chance to rebuild trust. And the sad part is, I probably would have gone back to him had he gotten the chance.